A parenting/discipline reference list

[terriblelynne]

This is partially for my personal reference and also available just as an FYI.

http://www.nospank.net/purpose.htm

http://www.nospank.net/main.htm

http://www.neverhitachild.org/
(look at their excellent links/resources page)

http://www.vegsource.com/talk/parenting/no_spanking.htm

http://www.crisisconnectioninc.org/domesticviolence/nospanking.htm

http://www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/families/BE714.html

http://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/node/46

http://www.takingchildrenseriously.com/what_tcs_is_and_what_it_is_not

http://www.vachss.com/help_text/corporal_punishment.html

http://www.nospank.net/faber.htm

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0943990742/104-2319290-3746308?v=glance&n=283155&v=glance

http://fabermazlish.com/newslett.htm

Comments

[nstormrider.livejournal.com]

Consistency is important in discipline. So is rationality, so is explaining what was done wrong to the child. But as someone who was spanked as a child, I don't see a problem with it, so long as the parents -do not do it when they're angry-. In fact, being an ADD boy and generally totally self-contained, I'm not sure timeouts would work well. Grounding certainly would not.

I also don't see how spanking breeds violence when gone at with the same philosophy of consistency, explanation, warning, and suchnot. Not only I, but many, many of my friends have been spanked, and almost all of us are non-violent, and have been in few fights. When we were in fights, generally we were attacked by totally undisciplined, uncontrolled kids. Most of the kids that I know who are specifically being raised non-violently are fairly frequently out of control. One of them, who is growing, LOVEs to assault me, kicking me and otherwise putting me in pain. I don't understand why spanking is so taboo. I do understand that extreme violence in spanking is bad.

Although, for victims of abuse, or people who might spank their child inconsistently or in anger, I don't believe that they should. Spanking, as any sort of punishment, needs to be meted out a certain way.

[nstormrider.livejournal.com]

I guess it mostly boils down to, I don't agree with the logic of 'spanking says it is OK to hit'. It's faulty logic. If parents are supposed to be an example of what is 'right and good' and therefore can't punish a child by spanking, what does it say of any sort of punishment? If you are punished by being put in a timeout, does that mean it's OK to force someone away from everyone? Does it lead to kidnapping?

If you are punished by a grounding or taking away a favored toy, does that mean it's OK to steal from your enemies or deprive them of their contact?

If there is no punishment, doesn't it mean it's OK to do anything? I think the core argument isn't about the type of punishment, it's about the rationale. Punishment must be punishment, not lashing out, and it must be just.