Go to the child, face her/him, and tell her/him which behavior is not okay (hitting, spitting, refusing to pick up toys or get dressed, etc.) and that s/he needs a time-out. Speak to the child in a serious tone but do not yell, grab, or jerk the child. Move the child away from other children and adults. Tell the child that he needs to stay in the time-out for "x" number of minutes. (Keep it short, one recommendation is one minute per one year of the child’s age, example: if the child is 5 years old, the child would receive a 5 minute time-out.)
I'm not sure advise like this is always usable. Even if I was convinced that children should be controlled and forced to pick up their toys or get dressed, the whole thing assumes the child who previously wouldn't do what they were told would willingly "obey" the parent and go to time-out. Moving the child "might" work or it might result in a child fighting back. If it's a strong boy child, the mother could be injured or risks hurting the child to pull this off.
There is no mention of talking to the child about the behavior, problem solving, etc. I realize this example is within the context of helping a woman who herself is escaping abuse move toward NOT spanking her children, but it risks not actually having the "desired" effect and still conveys that some people ought to be "controlled".
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 01:09 pm (UTC)I'm not sure advise like this is always usable. Even if I was convinced that children should be controlled and forced to pick up their toys or get dressed, the whole thing assumes the child who previously wouldn't do what they were told would willingly "obey" the parent and go to time-out. Moving the child "might" work or it might result in a child fighting back. If it's a strong boy child, the mother could be injured or risks hurting the child to pull this off.
There is no mention of talking to the child about the behavior, problem solving, etc. I realize this example is within the context of helping a woman who herself is escaping abuse move toward NOT spanking her children, but it risks not actually having the "desired" effect and still conveys that some people ought to be "controlled".